Filed under: In the News, Music, Uncategorized | Tags: buckethats, Chris Gaines, comebacks, country stars with tight pants, garth brook announces comeback, Garth Brooks, git along little dogies
Garth Brooks, I mean Chris Gaines, I mean Tight Pants McTighterson announced his comeback out of retirement. Settle down, Aunt Winnefred’s gonna be okay.
My dad once told me about a dream he had about Gene Simmons. He said he dreamt he took Mom to see Kiss and they got to go backstage to meet the band. Gene looked at my mom and held out his hand, asking her, “Wanna be number 4,601?” According to Dad’s subconscious, Mom greatly obliged and left him outside the dressing room crying.
Anyway, someone posted a video of Gene Simmons having sex with some model. (If you’re into old guys having sex, you can look for it here, douchebag.) Apparently, he’s suing the company selling the tape as if he’s a future heiress whose reputation and fortune would be ruined by such a scandal.
Oh, and this is his son Nick, nickname “2,462.” He just started college, so I don’t think this “scandal” would have any effect on Gene’s status as a role model.
Finding out Gene Simmons has a leaked sex tape is like finding out about Ryan Seacrest coming out.
She couldn’t get a visa to the States, but she’s got a new set of chompers! She gets a little nervous at first, but she’s brilliant.
